Okay so here I am... back home after a week of travelling. In this week I fell ill... had a fever; a bad throat and weakness. Now despite this I was excited and nervous about the training program we were about to conduct.

It would be a real test of my capabilities of being able design a training program. Was so scared of the whole thing blowing up in my face.... The first day was quite a disaster according to me. Our lack of coordination was obvious ( maybe it was not that obvious to the participants, but to me it was). However it was from the second day that the workshop came alive. The efforts that the participants put in was amazing, they seemed to be enjoying almost every minute of the program.

I had put in a lot of activities and was scared that they may object to them saying that these activities were for children, but they took on the activities with high energy level and enthusiasm.

On the whole I am satisfied with the way things went. We were flexible enough to make changes as and when we required. That helped quite a bit.

The program requires a lot of work and fine tuning, and I am looking forward to making it better :D

utra utra mausam dhalke... palkon mein

katra katra pilun aa is pal ko... main

suraj ke kuch boondhe tapke hai peshane pe

sargoshi kudh se karti hu main hairani mein

yahi meri zindagi hai, zindagi hai zindagi, zindagi

One of my favorite songs from Dev D... I love almost all the songs of the movie. But, there is something about this song that appeals to me a lot. I think I relate the life I am living today with this song. Even as I write this post... I am listening to the song and it gives me goosebumps. It's an instant lift me up song. Am trying not to smile (coz am at work). But if it were up to me I would be singing loudly (bah... have a horrible cold and a really bad throat) i cudnt sing even if i wanted too.... sargoshi khud se karti hu main hairani mein, yahi meri zindagi hai, zindagi hai zindagi...

main mere.. pal mere din jaise ho

chand shab shakhe ek shajar pe khili

Ooo.. hai maine (sab sapne rang da le)

jee bharke (dil mein leke ujale)

khil khilake main tho ud chali

Ooo...

Kudrath muskurathi hai meri nadani pe

The second part of the song takes me back a few years... when I really felt like a free, wild spirit. Its another thing that those times brought me a lot of pain... but I think they shaped me into the person that I am today and this is for sure that today... as of this moment I don't regret any decision I have ever taken.... there are no what ifs for me :)

work and life...

I have always loved travelling… Despite being paid peanuts in my previous job I still loved going to work. One of the reasons being that I got to travel – a lot! So when I got married and moved to a new place without a job in hand, I was miserable. Needless to say I missed traveling (apart from the to n fro I did to Home – that does not count). So imagine when I get a new project with an organization in Delhi how excited I was. The first time I travelled I was excited, I was leaving the boring mundane life of being at home all day long.

In the last six months I have been to Delhi twice each trip being 10 to 15 days long. So when I was travelling for the tird time to delhi today, I was surprised that I dint want to go. I felt very reluctant and I think I have managed to make self sick (as in a bad throat and weakness) with anxiety and hesitation. And the reason for it... I hate leaving P at home. I hate not having him to hold at night when I sleep. Even as I write this I miss him like crazy.

I cant wait to get back home. Now don’t get me wrong, I am also glad I came. I love my work ad coming here makes me realize that I am doing what I had set out to do three years back and that too at my own terms J

But I still miss u honey L

Cooking...

I am here... at my blog with every intention of writing something, but am not sure what I want to write about... hmmm

Well as I sit with the laptop, I am also cooking kheema in the kitchen. This is the second time I am trying out the dish. Cant make up my mind on whether I should add green peas to the dish or not. Also am tweaking th ingredients a bit, if it comes out right I might put up the recipe here... not so sure yet. Lets see...

oh my f***ing GOD!!!

There was a time when I never used obscenities. It wasn't that I did not know the words, it was just that I refused to make them a part of my vocabulary... Unfortunately that is not true anymore. My poor husband bears the brunt of my rage most of the times, so he will be able to say how bad the situation is.

Despite my frequent outbursts I never really lost control over my language in public before. That was until last saturday...

I don't want to go into many details, so here is a brief description of what had happened before that moment. Our friends were returning from France, they asked us to book a cab that would pick them up from the Mumbai airport and bring them to Pune. So my husband did just that. He sent the driver their details and emailed the details of the cab to our friends. It so happened that the cab guy (for future reference CG) could not locate them and neither could they locate the cab guy.

In the meanwhile my husband was up since 5 that morning trying to get in touch with our friends in order to help the CG. In the meanwhile these guys came to Pune in another cab. We informed our friends that the CG was waiting at the airport and they may have to pay him. We gave the CG their details and left it at that. The next day the CG starts harassing my husband for the payment.

Now for whatever reasons our friends refuse to pay him its not my husband's responsibility to pay the guy. He tried to explain that to the CG but he refused to understand. And issue gets dragged on for a week. It was pretty stressful for us. Finally last Saturday the CG came home to sort the issue out. Three guys go to talk to him and half an hour later they don't come back.

This is when I decide to pay them a visit. I go downstairs and realise that they are standing on road and talking to the CG. I go and listen in to the conversation. My husband is politely talking to the CG and he is refusing to listen and putting the blame of the whole fiasco entirely on my husband. I think it was the second time I saw him pointing his finger at my husband and saying sab iska galti hai . Thats when I completely lost it and yelled, 'Oh my fucking God'.

I think it was sheer frustration and irritation with the situation that made me say that. But the good thing was that it effectively put the entire conversation to an end. And all of us just walked away. I could feel my hands shaking from the rage that I had felt. I think I also felt pretty empty for quite sometime after that...

So anywhoos thats the story of me completely loosing my anger (on roadside) and letting go for an instant - for the first time in my life :)

On a rainy day...

It was a cold November morning. It had rain all night and was still raining, the roads were wet and there was a chill in the air...

On this cold wet day, she was sitting by the window looking at the rain beating against the window. A strong wind was fighting its way into the horizon, mercilessly beating everything that came in its way... the trees bending at the wind's will. She closed her eyes and took in the silence that had quietly enveloped her. Every now and then she could hear the windows shudder when the wind got strong. She stretched out her palms and placed them on the cold glass... she could feel the chilly dampness through the glass. Letting out a long sigh, she stepped back and stared at the window pane fogging up. She hugged herself and a strange restlessness took over her.

She felt the need to do something. She wasn't sure what it would be but she new it had to be something...