Tuesday, July 22

the butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough...

On Sunday, my boss's daughter died. the doctors say it was brain fever. I don't think anyone of us is sure about that. Honestly nobody knows what happened. It was so sudden that I could not even process what happened. Two of my colleagues were hit very hard by the news. One because she was very close to the girl and the other cause she is very close to our boss.

We are waiting for the family to come back, what I cant understand is my hesitation in offering condolences to my boss. Every time I had something on my mind, and something I needed to talk about, I knew that all I had to do is to speak to her. She would hear me out patiently, and yet when its my turn, I hesitate. I fear that I have nothing to say, what can I possibly say that could make her feel better. But at the same time I cannot just sit on my rear doing nothing, now can I???

Am not quite sure what I am going to do...

In the afternoon I finally picked up the phone and spoke to her. She sounded quite composed, I feel that she made it easier for me. I feel like such a coward...

I felt choked every time I thought of what just happened, but I did not know how to react. Not until yesterday evening. The news and shock of it all, made me miss my dad, who's traveling. I had not talked to him in two days and yesterday I had this urge to speak to him and frustration at not being able to get through.

In the evening I watched all the Grey's Anatomy season one episodes. And then P called. As I was talking to him about the day, tears just rolled down and I think I finally let go. And today early morning I got to speak to my dad...
I feel quite better now...