oh my f***ing GOD!!!

There was a time when I never used obscenities. It wasn't that I did not know the words, it was just that I refused to make them a part of my vocabulary... Unfortunately that is not true anymore. My poor husband bears the brunt of my rage most of the times, so he will be able to say how bad the situation is.

Despite my frequent outbursts I never really lost control over my language in public before. That was until last saturday...

I don't want to go into many details, so here is a brief description of what had happened before that moment. Our friends were returning from France, they asked us to book a cab that would pick them up from the Mumbai airport and bring them to Pune. So my husband did just that. He sent the driver their details and emailed the details of the cab to our friends. It so happened that the cab guy (for future reference CG) could not locate them and neither could they locate the cab guy.

In the meanwhile my husband was up since 5 that morning trying to get in touch with our friends in order to help the CG. In the meanwhile these guys came to Pune in another cab. We informed our friends that the CG was waiting at the airport and they may have to pay him. We gave the CG their details and left it at that. The next day the CG starts harassing my husband for the payment.

Now for whatever reasons our friends refuse to pay him its not my husband's responsibility to pay the guy. He tried to explain that to the CG but he refused to understand. And issue gets dragged on for a week. It was pretty stressful for us. Finally last Saturday the CG came home to sort the issue out. Three guys go to talk to him and half an hour later they don't come back.

This is when I decide to pay them a visit. I go downstairs and realise that they are standing on road and talking to the CG. I go and listen in to the conversation. My husband is politely talking to the CG and he is refusing to listen and putting the blame of the whole fiasco entirely on my husband. I think it was the second time I saw him pointing his finger at my husband and saying sab iska galti hai . Thats when I completely lost it and yelled, 'Oh my fucking God'.

I think it was sheer frustration and irritation with the situation that made me say that. But the good thing was that it effectively put the entire conversation to an end. And all of us just walked away. I could feel my hands shaking from the rage that I had felt. I think I also felt pretty empty for quite sometime after that...

So anywhoos thats the story of me completely loosing my anger (on roadside) and letting go for an instant - for the first time in my life :)

On a rainy day...

It was a cold November morning. It had rain all night and was still raining, the roads were wet and there was a chill in the air...

On this cold wet day, she was sitting by the window looking at the rain beating against the window. A strong wind was fighting its way into the horizon, mercilessly beating everything that came in its way... the trees bending at the wind's will. She closed her eyes and took in the silence that had quietly enveloped her. Every now and then she could hear the windows shudder when the wind got strong. She stretched out her palms and placed them on the cold glass... she could feel the chilly dampness through the glass. Letting out a long sigh, she stepped back and stared at the window pane fogging up. She hugged herself and a strange restlessness took over her.

She felt the need to do something. She wasn't sure what it would be but she new it had to be something...